By Sean Kernan
Years ago, back in my married days.
I was taking a one-off class at a local community college. There were some group projects we were doing.
I can remember I got paired with an attractive brunette girl, short, 5′2, maybe 100 lbs, big mousey eyes, young, maybe 21 at most.
And I can even remember her name still, Nicole.
She looked a bit like this gal:
After our group project, where we got to know each other, she began sitting beside me every day in class.
Even if I changed seats, she’d find me like a heat seeking missile. She’d lean over and whisper “Hey!” before plopping down next to me.
Apparently my wedding ring was invisible.
I’d often groan with this pain-pleasure feeling as she approached. It was as though God had sent this gorgeous archangel to tempt my faith in marriage.
And, to be fair, I did enjoy talking to her. She was very nice, interesting, and well, damn-attractive. Getting married doesn’t turn you into an invincible Faith-Bot.
Things sort of came to a head one day as we left class. As we stepped outside the doors, with other students filing out, she touched her hair and said:
“Hey, do you think you could give me a ride home?” She winked after she said it with a big smile.
I paused and felt my heart beating faster.
And painnnnnfully said, “I….I really shouldn’t. ……I have to be somewhere in like 15 minutes. And I can’t be late.”
I say “painfully” because that is me being honest. I was 100% faithful to my wife during our marriage. But to say there weren’t moments like this, would be disingenuous.
In the split moment of Nicole’s veiled invitation, I saw this door in my mind. Going through that door, I saw this rush, all of this lusty imagery that I could partake in. It would have surely been great.
For that moment.
I knew, from having known guys who’d gone through that door, what happens next. And it isn’t pretty.
Once that door is open, there is no closing it, no going back. You will keep going. And it will lead to a dark place.
A dark place where things that can’t be undone will undo everything good in your life.
In these situations, you need to use your head and think vividly about consequences, or those consequences will become your reality.
Most importantly, you need to pay credence to the love and respect you have for your spouse.
It can all go away, faster than you’d imagine.