By Aisha from California
I was raised in a non-religious Catholic family. I used to drive myself crazy wondering what life was. What the purpose of this world was. I never understood the concept of God.
I went through a really dark time in my life. I was not living right and I really just did not want to live. When you have faith in nothing, it’s hard to find the will to survive sometimes. I think the only times I spoke to God (the God I barely believe in) was telling him I did not want to live anymore.
During the lowest point in my life is when I found Islam, subhanallah. A misconception with a lot of reverts is that people assume we are converting for someone, when really sometimes it just takes meeting someone to open our eyes and mind to what has been there all along.
I always thought my beliefs could never change…You can’t just change the way you have thought your whole life, right? I was so wrong. Islam filled my heart and I instantly knew it was the truth. It took me a few years to take my shahada.
I went through a roller coaster ride trying to stop all the bad habits I had formulated throughout the years. The belief in Islam never left alhamduliilah, it was just hard to change my actions. As a convert, it can get very lonely as you try to abandon the life you once led.
I knew Allah swt would erase my sins after I took Shahada and I wanted to make sure I was ready to devote the rest of my life to pleasing him. It’s been over a year alhamdulilah, and the contentment I now have in my heart is something I had always longed for. My little sister is beginning to show interest and I pray I can help lead her to this beautiful religion. I’ve realized it’s a marathon, not a sprint but the journey is beautiful.